April Foster Interviews Emily Ley

There is a big month ahead for our friend Emily Ley as she prepares to launch her first book, Grace, Not Perfection. We couldn’t be more excited for her! In the midst of book signings and promotional events, we were able to snag a few minutes of Emily’s time. Our CEO, April Foster, got answers to some of our most sought after questions!

What was the inspiration behind your book “Grace, Not Perfection”?

At one point in my life, about five years ago, I hit a proverbial wall. I was tired, overwhelmed, overworked, and just plain empty. I had a new baby, a growing business, a husband, and many newly-formed crow’s feet. I was spent. My to do list was miles long. My mommy guilt was endless. My love for the work I was doing was dwindling. In my gut, all I knew was that I loved this baby boy of mine. I loved our little fledgling family of three. In an instant, during a conversation with a friend, I made the statement, “I am done trying to be perfect. I am going to hold myself to a new standard. A standard of Grace NOT perfection.” I wasn’t totally sure what that meant at the time.

I just knew that Grace was free. It was all encompassing and didn’t require anything from me. I had nothing left to give, so that was a good thing. My faith has always been important to me, but in that moment, I knew that God had something BIGGER planned for my life. Bigger than sleeplessness and business and full inboxes and impressing people I didn’t know. He wanted me to find joy again. Joy and simplicity. And so that became the tagline to our company. Joy and simplicity became my mission and in the search for those two things, I found the most important of all: Grace.

I wrote this book because I hit rock bottom. And I continue to fight this battle, but rock bottom as a perfectionist is not fun. The world is telling us we have to be more. Bigger. Better. Faster. Stronger. More. More. More. And I don’t know about you, but I’m tired. There has to be something sweeter. And over the course of five years, I slowly discovered it. Grace is found in stillness, silence, saying no, stepping back, letting go. Grace is so much better than perfection.

What was one of the most surprising things you learned in creating your book?

While I was writing this book, I started to learn just how much other women struggled with the impossible standards we’ve set for ourselves. I talked with so many friends, consulted our Simplified Planner community and sought-after, trusted advisors. Women today are frazzled and tired and burned out. And when we are empty inside, what good are we for each other? For our people? For our families? It was such a relief to learn I wasn’t alone. And sister, you aren’t either.

What was the hardest part of writing this book?

It’s not easy to share your innermost thoughts and feelings from the most difficult time of your life. Writing each chapter was a mix of closure, therapy, and taking myself to church—but in the best ways possible!

What book are you reading now?

I really enjoyed Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton. She is such a gifted writer, and it was one of those books I absolutely could not put down the minute I cracked it open.

With three kids and multiple business ventures, in what areas of your life do you struggle most with striving for perfection?

I struggle with my own addiction to the buzz of being in control. It’s so much easier to strive for a perfectly clean kitchen than it is to handle toddler tantrums (times two). It’s so much easier to strive for record sales numbers with my business than it is to sit in silence and stillness with my family when there are things to be done. But as I’ve handled the tantrums, as I’ve sat in the stillness, even when I didn’t want to, I’ve realized just how sweet they are. Even when work is a great escape for me, I realize just how much it can drain the best parts out of me and leave only a frayed version of myself for my family.

What is a practical tip that you have for those of us trying to juggle multiple demands and striving for perfection in all areas?

You do not have to do it all. You can do it all, yes. But you cannot do it all well. Let go. Say no. In this season of life, one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is the gift of margin.

Who do you most admire for seeking grace and not perfection?

Shauna Neiquest. Her book, Present over Perfect, is remarkable. Chapter 8 had me standing and cheering and “AMENing” from my living room. She travelled a very similar journey to mine, sayings yes to ALL the good things, and discovering she was living a life she didn’t want to lead. Seriously, it’s remarkable.

Your life is fairly public, and looks pretty perfect, how do you balance having a brand which is so clean and beautiful on the outside, with a messy, imperfect life underneath?

I feel like I always have this blank-stare face when I hear that. Haha! I wish you could come to my house around 4:30 p.m. We call it “witching hour.” The babies are hungry and fussy. Sesame Street is blaring. Brady is probably telling a long story about squirrels. I’m frantically unwrapping dinner from our local healthy dinner delivery place. We’re counting the minutes until DADDY’S HOME!! (Hallelujah!!) It’s crazy. And it’s wonderful. The house stays a mess until 7 p.m. when the twins are in bed, then it gets picked up. I gave up on constantly picking up all day a long time ago.

My goal for our brand is to be clean, clear, simple, and joyful, but also deeply meaningful, messy, and real. So we make and are inspired by things that make us feel hopeful—like a fresh start, where we are, with what we have, right now—every day is possible. Messy or not.

There was a time when you considered investors in your business.  How did the pursuit of grace and not perfection change your business model?

My top priority for my business (and number-one goal) has always been to create meaningful products for women and to give my family the best of myself (meaning flexibility, etc). When we considered Shark Tank (we even got three rounds deep into auditions), it dawned on us that while taking on an investor may alleviate some present woes (we run a debt-free company and were in need of a boost in cash flow to produce planners we had on order) it wouldn’t help at all toward our biggest goals. Instead of choosing what looked “perfect,” we chose Grace. We chose to let our business take its time. Looking back, I’m glad we kept our 100% equity intact.

You have been utilizing Instagram stories recently to share your real life.  What has been the response?

It’s been so fun! I especially love the new Instagram Story because I just couldn’t get into Snapchat. I loved it for Tyler’s dog faces, but I didn’t see the same authentic engagement there like I did on Instagram. When IG released something similar, I loved it. We see great engagement there, and I think it’s a great connector piece to keep us engaged with our community in a very genuine way.  

Grace, Not Perfection will be released October 11th. Order your copy here and follow Emily on Instagram here.